How Not To Succumb To The Whims Of The Children

Not giving in to the whims of your child does not make you a bad father, but rather it helps you turn him into a person capable of valuing what he achieves

What to do so as not to succumb to the whims of the children? Crying, exposing yourself at the supermarket, yelling loudly to attract attention …  Children know perfectly well how to get what they want and they also know your weak points, what will make you give in or not succumb to the whims of the smallest.

However, to educate children well it is important not to succumb to their whims.  Especially if we can’t give them to you. This will allow them to know that there are limits in life and that they will not always be able to obtain everything they want based on screaming, tantrums and other types of resources that serve to manipulate whoever they want.

Remember that you are the authority

Sometimes we forget that, as parents, we are the authority, who is in charge. The moment we give our son what he is screaming at, we have lost all our authority. We must be firm when we say “no”  and look him in the eye without fear. We do not even have to give explanations: a “no” is a “no” and they have to abide by it.

What happens if, despite this, my son throws a tantrum, cries and leaves me in evidence? The problem for many parents is that this situation makes them give in out of shame or shame. Giving in will never be a good educational resource. When we give in, our son knows that he can do it again, try again to get what we do not want to give him.

Your authority has been eroded in the blink of an eye. Ignore your child’s tantrum, he is manipulating you with his attitude! Think … if you allow yourself to be manipulated by your own child, how will you be able to not allow yourself to be used by anyone else?

Take action to avoid succumbing to whims

Sometimes it hurts us to have to punish our own children, but it is absolutely necessary. Only in this way will they know how to identify that their bad acts have consequences. It can be a “wall-facing” punishment, taking away his favorite toy, turning off the television, or not taking him to the park that day for him to enjoy.

Of course, don’t expect your child to react positively to all of this. The tantrums will continue and the crying will increase. But if you are not able to control it, if you are not able to set limits, who will? You are his parent, who must ensure that he becomes a person who knows how to live with others, who has certain values ​​and is responsible for himself.

If you don’t put limits on him, if you don’t take action against him, he will believe that he can get everything he wants and do what he wants. You know well that this is not the case and that, in the real world, there are many more limits than we would like.

Strengthen their positive behavior

One of the mistakes that parents make is always emphasizing the negative that our child does, while the positive we take for granted and do not mention it. Our son needs to be rewarded or, at least, know that we value his effort and the positive details he has. For example, if he asks you for something with a sincere “please”, if you refuse, do it lovingly and giving him arguments.

Allow him to understand your position, but do not say a resounding “no”. Doing so will encourage the child’s bad behavior. Do you see that your child shares with others? What is being good in class? He needs you to tell him, that you value what he does so that he knows that he is doing things right. You don’t always need to reward him with gifts – sometimes a mere word can bring out a big smile.

Children need loving parents  but, at the same time, firm, who are able to put limits on them. The moment we give in to the whims of the children we become their puppets and we cause them to end up being little tyrants.

This is not what we want. We need to educate responsible, mature, consistent children. If we do not set limits, if we are not authoritarian, we will not be able to complain the day when our children reach a more adult age, adolescence, and we can no longer control their whims or actions.