Couples Therapy: How It Helps To Improve Relationships

Couples therapy is one of the healthiest and most effective tools for dealing with conflicts as a couple. We will tell you all about her in the next article.

In an age when separations and divorces are ‘the order of the day’, couples therapy can be the solution to the problems that lead us to make such a drastic decision.

This extra help, in addition to being on the rise, is one of the healthiest ways to deal with the conflicts between the two members of a marriage or couple.

Let’s go deeper.

When to go to couples therapy?

Talking to a professional can help save a marriage, but beware: only if both partners agree and if it is done on time. There are times when, unfortunately, when the matter is taken up, it is already too late.

It must be clear that couples therapy is not a magic solution to problems and neither is it a miraculous option to make the relationship ‘perfect’. However, it can help smooth out rough spots.

Talking to a third person outside the marriage opens your mind and allows you to better communicate what is happening.

Locate the problem

In the sessions or meetings the objective is to look for the root of the resentments, the mistreatments or the differences. In addition, you must use various tools or techniques to accept, forgive and look to the future.

In fact, for a couples therapy to be successful, the first factor is acceptance. This means that the two people in the relationship have to agree.

Success will lie in how much they do to improve and if they believe they are doing the right thing. It is useless to go to look good or for the couple not to insist more.

Couples therapy does not work if the love is over or if one of the two is not interested in saving the relationship. It is difficult to indicate at what specific time to make an appointment, it all depends on how each one feels and how much they have tried to do to save the union.

How does a couples therapy work?

The first thing that is done in a session is to ask, separately, if both of you are willing and convinced of the therapy. Then it’s about finding the real problem.

Many couples come to the consultation because they argue too much about various topics. However, behind it there are hidden conflicts that they have not yet been able to resolve.

Second, work is done on dialogue, on improving communication and on putting aside the monologue. It is essential to empathize with the other, listen to what they have to say and take nothing for granted.

If there is something that is not understood, asking is the key. And of course, ‘putting yourself in the other’s shoes’ is very important in this phase as well.

Of course, we cannot do therapy for an hour a week and the rest of the time forget everything learned or practiced in the consultation.

Both people must be aware that they are part of the problem, but also part of the solution.

With various exercises or tools, the therapist will help resolve conflicts, reduce arguments, and reconnect with the other. Ultimately, that is what we need when we go to couples therapy: connection.

Problems continually crop up in a relationship, but the ‘crux of the matter’ is how we fix them.

Everyone has to do their part

It is essential to bear in mind that couples therapy does not guarantee the union and  it is not infallible. There are many cases of people who have decided to separate – on good terms – after a couple of sessions.

However, unlike other divorces, these are more likely to be more aware, understood, and accepted by both parties. Therapy is a resource that we have available to improve our relationship.

It can also be used before making the decision to marry or have children, as it improves future vision. Similarly, there are people who go with their former partners, in an attempt to improve the relationship (in case there are children involved, for example).

Talking to a psychologist and seeking help from him is a good way to take charge of the situation and not limit yourself to regrets.