Stepfather And Stepmother: The Barriers That These Relationships Create

They are also known as reconstituted, polynuclear, or multiparental families. Today, family relationships with stepfather and stepmother are emerging as an emerging phenomenon around the world.

Living in this new stage multiplies the problems and concerns in the family circle, especially when the children of the previous marriage are included. However, this does not mean that families of this type cannot adapt and organize themselves to live happily. If this is your case, what can you do about it?

This family model is distinguished by having at least one spouse from a previous family union, that is, a stepfather and stepmother, as the case may be. On many occasions, they also include children from previous marriages.

What are these families like? What kinds of links are created? Are stepfathers and stepmothers legitimized to educate and impose their authority?

Families with stepfather and stepmother are on the rise

Previously, marriages had a longer duration. However, the family dynamic and its composition has changed over the years.

For example, according to an article published in 2016 in the journal Health Perspectives and Analysis, between 40-50% of marriages end in divorce. This results in that 4 or 5 children out of 10 will spend their childhood with only one parent.

Barriers in relationships with being a stepparent and stepmother

Conflicts and differences are constant in any interpersonal relationship. However, in the case of the multiparental family, the difficulties are doubled.

In fact, the danger to dissolution is slightly greater in reconstituted families. It is interesting to note that the risk of separation in remarried marriages, without children, is very similar to that of couples who are married for the first time.

It is not a secret that, as the main reason for rupture in this model, are family relationships, the presence of children from previous unions and the problems related to them. Thus, in cases of rupture of reconstituted families, there are different sources of conflict or barriers.

Here are the most important ones:

• The reorganization of roles in which stepparents intervene.
• Their relationship with their stepchildren.
• Aspects related to the assignment and regulation of responsibilities within the family circle.
• Education, discipline of stepchildren.
• The relationship of family members with ex-spouses.

Divorce and children

Divorce dissolves the marital bond between adults, but it does not do so with the bonds between parents and children. This produces a conflict in the way the family was viewed. However, it is possible to be or have a non-biological father within the family dynamics.

This requires adapting to the relationships that arose from birth and marriage ; These ties continue in stages after divorce and in new relationships.

Now, what can be done to overcome the cultural barriers to which the roles of stepfather and stepmother give rise? Keep reading.

Consolidate the new marriage taking into account the children

Forming a new family is all about readjustment and adaptation. In some cases, the weight of the family structure falls on the couple.

To strengthen this bond, it is necessary for the spouses to spend time together. It is also recommended that they define the appropriate adjustments to negotiate and achieve the consolidation of their relationship.

However, most families with stepfathers and stepmothers have to do the reverse. Family consolidation will begin with establishing a viable relationship between stepparents and stepchildren.

Developing emotional attachment in the relationship

Ultimately, the family readjustment process must take into account the relationship between father and son (mother and son). The reason for peacefully including the new spouse serves to avoid the perception of uncertainty and threat in the children.

For children to admit the authority of an adult, the adult must first earn their trust and respect. This doesn’t happen overnight, but spending time alone with each stepchild can help. This will stimulate affection in the relationship and show them that they are important to the stepfather and stepmother.

The couple must be attentive to the needs of the children to develop emotional attachment and security, without falling into pressure or harassment. However, it is necessary not to intrude at the beginning with the previous family dynamics. Better to express support for the couple in parenting and discipline decisions.

Create a new space for the new family in the case of the stepfather and stepmother

Forming a family with a stepfather and stepmother does not imply for the children to replace their biological parents. Nor should it mean giving up your former family. However, it is necessary to look for points of affinity between the members to unite it and for this it takes time.

Respect, empathy , sincere communication and cooperation, among other factors, will allow children to assimilate and accept the new situation they are going through. In fact, it is important to promote identity and union through activities. And all members must cooperate so that family life is more organized and stable for all.

It is not easy, but after a period of adaptation everything is achieved

Stepfather and stepmother families are not easy at all. In fact, the stability and cohesion of the family depends on a long process of acceptance and on numerous factors that were not discussed in this article.

However, if the relationship is worked on consistently and appropriately, family members will most likely adapt to each other. In this way, they will be able to coexist successfully.