We Are Who We Allow To Really Know

We are from who we have let really know us. We are from that person with whom we can undress emotionally. Before her, we have no fear or prejudice or fear of being judged or betrayed.

That complicity is the pillar on which the commitment is based. That intimacy is our refuge, the place where we feel safe. This attunement is a rare and necessary good. Hence, the other architect of that relationship has to be someone truly special, a significant person in our life.

Of course, we are not just talking about relationships. Also, of the best friends, before whom we can show ourselves as we are. This means that we sometimes expose even the darkest part of ourselves. Aspiring to this type of emotional quality bond and achieving it, reverts in a very positive way to our health. It also benefits our personal well-being, as well as our resilience.

Whoever really appreciates you must respect your lights and your shadows

Knowing someone for real is not something that is achieved overnight. Sometimes the whole life is not enough. There are families of several members who live together for years under the same roof. However, they hardly know each other.

• It is not enough just to have a person by your side to know what it is like. Rather, this is something that requires a lot of patience and observation, once there is a willingness to get to know each other.
• But the interest or the will to understand must always be preceded by trust.
• Trust, in turn, is like a gift. It is only achieved if we know we are appreciated. In other words, when we perceive that the other person is not going to punish or criticize us for who we are, for what we like, for what defines us.
• The person who really knows us will have seen our demons at some point. Those dark, weak and unpleasant spots that scare some. And that others, on the contrary, are willing to accept in exchange for being worthy of our trust and appreciation. In a way, it is a contract, an agreement.

You are from that person who wants you free but who walks by your side

People do not belong to each other, but we create links based on reciprocity and commitment with those beings that are significant to us.

• Although we share spaces, moments, ideas and values, each of us has, in turn, his own wings to grow personally. That is, we must have a space in which to perform as autonomous people.
• That intimate dimension must be respected by others. Therefore, the people to whom we give ourselves emotionally must never circumvent that border. On the contrary, they must know how to create a “we”, but also leaving space for the individual, private “I”.

If you want to really know me, show me that you deserve me

Sometimes we make mistakes. Who has not ever regretted having trusted someone who deserved their trust?

• And it is that those somewhat bitter experiences are also learned. Useful conclusions can always be drawn from them in order to always be more cautious.
• Nor is it about closing ourselves off from any relationship or developing a kind of chronic mistrust. It is necessary to preserve the illusion of finding the love or friendship to which we aspire. This is an area in which it is advisable to be demanding. Only then will we be safe.

Humans are social beings. Hence we need so much to relate, to create links with other people. But, for these ties to be of quality, you must first invest in self-love.

• If I don’t love myself as I deserve, I won’t know how to set the necessary filters or limits. This is the only guide with which we can orient ourselves to know who to give the opportunity to get to know each other better.

There are no recipes for this ability, but it comes with time. Hence, there is no need to lament yesterday’s mistakes, since they have a meaning. They comprise a necessary learning to train this relational competence. It is healthy and even necessary to open the doors to someone who seems to us to be worthy of that trust, at the risk of later proving otherwise.

Friendship, divine treasure

What is wanted is cared for. And, what is cared for, lasts.

• Therefore, if you have by your side that special person or people who know your lights and your shadows, do not forget to remember that they also deserve the same.
• Those people also chose us at a given moment, they too are ours and we are theirs.

We share our joys, dreams, hopes and sorrows helps us to face worries, to appease fears, to fill gaps. That is, to shape a life in harmony, where we all win.

Never give up finding those special beings, those friends of the soul, travel companions or loves with which to build authentic happiness.